You know what resides “at the corner of happy and healthy”? Walgreens. In order to make their strategic plan align with their cutesy little tagline, they have bought just about every corner plat of land in America where there is a high density of population and/or a busy intersection. The higher the car count, the better. If you want to know where there are lots of people, look for a Walgreens.
“At the corner of happy and healthy,” you’ll find lots of stuff in the category of not so healthy. The corner parcel of real estate is extremely important to ensure they remain “on brand,” but “healthy” is apparently just a throwaway. In a world obsessed with obesity, where diabetes is on the fast-track towards an epidemic, “healthy” should be taken as a serious claim. Nope.
I grab the in-store flyer on the way out the other day after printing a couple of pictures off my phone. As I peruse the pictures and prices occupying the eight pages of “hurry up, buy me now, before I go off sale,” I note that a lot of it is not at the corner of healthy. Happy, yes. Healthy, no.
The “Deal of the Week” found on the cover page was a variety of well-known candy at 69 cents per item. You can’t get any happier than that. Also on that same cover page were Coke and Pepsi products, Doritos, Lay’s Potato Chips and Frosted Flakes. Hmmmmmmm? Happy, yes. Healthy, no.
As we move through the next two pages, coffee, Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Arizona Tea, chips, cookies, more soda, donuts (yes, donuts), string cheese, more candy, graham crackers, Gummi Bears, Rice Krispies Treats, beef jerky and Kool-Aid are the featured sale items. Happy, yes. Healthy, no. If any one of the aforementioned finds its way onto your list of daily consumption, your doctor would have something to say about it, like “STOP RIGHT NOW.”
The remaining five pages of deals includes chemical-laced cleaning supplies, insect control sprays, cat litter, lighter fluid, cheap sunglasses, disinfectants, a variety of bleaches, Tide Pods (kids think they’re candy) and RAID. Five Hour Energy six-packs are thrown in there just to add insult to injury. At most houses, everything on this list is locked up inside the under-the-sink cabinet that has a heavy-duty, kid-proof lock on it with the poison control face and phone number prominently displayed. Certainly not healthy…not happy, either.
On the last page, there are some vitamins on sale. Finally, something healthy. Centrum is $8 off between the use of a reward card and a special coupon. The vitamins are advertised right next to wine, beer, vodka, Captain Morgan’s Rum, nasal spray and some more Tide liquid detergent.
Happy, yes. Healthy, no.