The P.A.

A weekly address from Patrick Adams,
President of St. Louis Community Credit Union

How to Be a Grown-Up

On December 14th, 2015, posted in: Uncategorized by

adulthood 101A week ago this past Thursday morning, I received a text message from my loving, caring and hot, albeit absent wife. She was in Boston for a meeting. I can’t give you much detail on the nature of her business while she was there, but the picture she sent me at precisely 7:34 a.m. was priceless.

The picture showed the sign over the entrance of her meeting facility. It read “Society of Grownups.” Her caption stated, “Our first stop.” The well-lit wall sign adjacent to the front window stated “A Master’s Program for Adulthood, Est. 2014.” Are you the least bit inquisitive? Me, too. Never mind what was really discussed inside the place — who cares? Don’t ruin it for me by telling me the truth. Please, just let my thoughts run wild as to all the possible things that should be discussed about being an adult.

How should grown-ups act? The course should be titled Adulthood 101. My funny bone went wild with ideas. As an “all-the-way” grown-up man, a couple of things come to mind. By the way, for the purpose of defining “grown-up,” only men or women over 26 years old qualify, as we now know that the brain is not fully developed until that age. If you’re under 26, you get a pass for not playing with all 52 ADULT cards in the deck.

Examples flood my thoughts. When the small track you’re running on inside the YMCA says keep to the inside so faster runners can pass, please observe that so you don’t get run up on and create a traffic jam. You know which is the inside lane, you’re just being a punk. Fill your coffee with the free sweetener, not your pockets. Don’t complain at your grandchild’s Christmas program. Yes, they’re horrible, but you’re not there for the production quality, you’re there to support your grandbaby. General admission means general seating. If somebody gets there before you, you lose. Settle down and find another seat. It’s a Christmas presentation, not “An Evening at the Met.”

If somebody lets you merge into their lane, give them a wave, a nod, a thumbs-up — something, please! It’s a nice gesture that shows your brain is fully developed. If you have the entire high school band in the back of your SUV, don’t go through the Starbucks drive-thru. Such action is rude and completely rescinds your adulthood. Ordering bunches of drinks with names as long as your arm really makes the other adults in line fussy.

Adults tip well when service is good. They don’t pout. They’re respectful of other people. They’re kind. Adults stand quietly in line, not cut. They don’t litter and don’t drink themselves into oblivion on airplanes. Adults have filters on words, thoughts and comments. Adults don’t throw temper tantrums. Adults respect their elders and people with whom they don’t agree. Adults are respectful winners and good losers.

So one time in Florida, a guy says to me, “Hey, you from around here?” I said “no.” He said, “I could tell, you’re way too white.” See that’s not necessary. Be nice. You’re a grown-up. Act like it.

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