The P.A.

A weekly address from Patrick Adams,
President of St. Louis Community Credit Union

Iowa — Really?

On June 1st, 2015, posted in: Uncategorized by

cornfieldWhat’s up with Iowa? How come they get to play “leader of the pack” in picking the presidential stock for the rest of the country? What qualifies them to make the early call on who is best suited to lead the country forward? They’re Iowa. Iowa. How come Iowa? Quite frankly, I’m a little insulted that they call the shots so early.

I am dumbfounded by a process by which a state tucked in the middle of the country known for corn, pigs and wrestling gets to decide whom we should bet on as our leading candidates for president. On both sides of the aisle, the American public says, “We’ll wait to see what happens in Iowa” prior to picking our favorite candidate. Really — Iowa? Do you wait for Iowa before doing anything else? “No, honey, let’s wait on that new flavored Dairy Queen Blizzard until we get a report from the good folks of Iowa.” Never.

If a candidate is defeated in the Hawkeye State, we may never hear from him or her again. Men and women with visions of serving as the leader of the free world watch their dreams dry up like a drought-filled growing season and say goodbye just because Iowans say “no way.” Really? Political pundits everywhere gauge a candidate’s showing in Iowa as THE determinant of one’s overall chances. Iowa? Come on people.

What is the “pixie dust” that puts Iowa first? My exhaustive review has drawn me to the conclusion that Iowa is just a state. Nothing special. They are average in geographical size — 26th out of 50, to be exact. They are a little smaller in population at 30th in the union. Their largest metropolitan area comprises Des Moines and its surrounding counties, with about 600,000 people. Lots and lots and lots of counties in the state have less than 1,000 people. That means lots and lots and lots of counties have very little in the way of gas stations, restaurants, etc. I know — I’ve driven through Iowa.

Iowa must be smarter. Is that why? After all, the nation has charged them with setting the direction of who we vote in as the next president. That’s a big deal. I feel certain that such an enormous responsibility would demand the attention of our great union’s finest scholars. Nope. Iowa school systems are average at best. Their numbers are far from spectacular. If I were to give them a grade, it would be a “C.” A solid C, but a C nonetheless.

Nice people live in Iowa. Friendly, down to earth and caring. But I don’t like them enough that I want them to have the responsibility of setting the tone for the upcoming presidential election.

Their state bird is the Eastern Goldfinch, a.k.a. the Wild Canary. Anyone ever heard of “the canary in the coal mine?” It means we risk sacrificing a bird to determine whether oxygen exists in a mine shaft. If the candidate makes it through Iowa, I guess there is enough oxygen to keep them alive. Otherwise, they’re dead. Iowa — really?

 

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