The P.A.

A weekly address from Patrick Adams,
President of St. Louis Community Credit Union

Not the hot dog! Is nothing sacred?

On November 9th, 2015, posted in: Uncategorized by 1 Comment

Not the hotdog! Is nothing sacred?Hot dogs were for lunch. They were always for lunch, usually boiled. Sometimes they were for dinner too. Sometimes when mom felt creative, she’d get crazy and cut those dogs into little pieces and toss them into a pan of warming pork & beans, or maybe sauerkraut. Are you kidding me – this was prime time baby.

They were grilled. They were split lengthwise, grilled and filled with cheese (the processed kind). We didn’t care – melted cheese on the real dog would taste good – let alone a hot dog. We even fried those bad boys.

Suffice it to say, of all the food in the world that I’ve eaten – and I have a pallet that is open to just about anything – I’ve consumed more hot dogs than anything else – except maybe bacon. I’m hosed. And every dog I’ve ever consumed was prefaced with a warning from either mom or dad: “cut it up into small bites so you don’t choke.” I think when I graduated from college my dad said, “Congratulations son, I’m proud of you. As you pass through life, always remember to cut up your hot dogs into small bites so you don’t choke.” In hindsight, choking was the least of my problems.

They just announced that hot dogs were like eating asbestos. Really? It seems that the “tube steak” is a vessel for carcinogens to make their way into the body. Where were they with this news a while back? Who’s been sitting on this revelation?

Hot dog makers all over the world are scrambling right now to refute such a claim. Imagine the board room discussions at ACME Hot Dogs. “Ok folks, here’s how we’ll frame it. The media misreported, they meant to say ‘Hot Chocolate.’ Yeah, we’ll go with that. Ok people, get busy.”

Quik Trip leads with the dog. Forever, until recently, they were 2 for $2. I had my fair share. Every baseball game, the dog was the treat. Picnics, campouts, church socials, little league game concession stands, wakes. I went through a period in my life as a stock boy in a grocery store that every day I had chili dogs and cheese puffs for lunch. Geesh, I’m pretty sure at my Confirmation, I chased the Lord’s Supper with a dog – OMG! I’m recollecting, but if memory serves me correct, we served hot dogs at my wedding reception. Lord, help me.

I’m writing this while on a Southwest Airlines flight to Atlanta. In the world’s busiest airport, I almost always stop at the world famous “Varsity” for their featured item. Yep, you guessed it – a chili dog.

What now? What’s next? I’m in quite a pickle. Speaking of pickles, that reminds me, there’s nothing like a Chicago dog featuring a great big pickle slice across this once proud diet staple. At this stage, I guess we should just pray for one another.

One Response to “Not the hot dog! Is nothing sacred?”

  • Jeff Schroth says:

    I’ve decided I’m going to simply accept the additional 5% chance of uncontrolled cell growth. They can have my bacon-wrapped deep-fried all-meat hot dogs when they pry them from my cold, dead, greasy hands.

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